Before becoming WWE Champion and making history as half of WrestleMania, the first African American woman’s main event, Bianca Bel Air fought the inner demons who nearly derailed their athletic career.
In a candid conversation with Stephanie McMahon on her podcast, “Stefanie’s Place,” Bella revealed a powerful mantra from her father.
Father’s wisdom
This distinction between tension and fear was important for Bella, who admitted that she was still nervous before every performance, whether it was WrestleMania or a daily live event.
“My dad helped me, and he always said it was okay to be nervous.
The dark side of perfectionism
Behind her confidence as “WWE’s EST,” Bel Air has a deep, personal story of mental health struggles, especially during her years as a competitive track athlete.
“I was my worst enemy,” she admitted, explaining how her perfectionism and obsession with success have become destructive.
“I was obsessed with being the best. I was so obsessed with my dreams and if I didn’t do everything I could, it was my fault,” Bellair said. This way of thinking has led her down a dangerous path.
“I developed an eating disorder, I hid it from my coach, I hid it from my parents, but I ran faster, it was crazy, I got a scholarship, and I went to college, but it caught up with me, and I was not healthy.”
Identity Crisis and Depression
Belair’s college days pose additional challenges as she struggled with her identity being tied only to her athletic performance.
“My identity was tracks. My identity was my performance. If I didn’t work well, I didn’t want to be friends with a lame girl who didn’t perform very well.”
She was worried about losing her scholarship and facing the embarrassment of returning home without achieving her dream, which was why pressure was put on her.
These pressures led to depression, and eventually Bella began taking medication without the knowledge of her parents. Without medical supervision, her mental health deteriorated dramatically when she suddenly decided to stop the drug.
“I just felt like I was trying to swim to the top. I liked the weight on my ankles. I didn’t know what was going on,” she recalled those dark times.
intervention
Her Texas A&M coach recognized the Bel Air struggle and intervened.
“You’re not on that truck until you’re together,” he told her.
“I care more about you as a person than an athlete,” he said, claiming she would get help.
This intervention has proven to be extremely important. Bella’s parents came to support her and she made the difficult decision to take time off the truck.
“At one point, it seemed like I was finished. I don’t want to run anymore because I have to put myself together,” she said. However, after focusing on her mental health, she realized that her passion remained.
“That burning love is still there, I love the truck, I miss it, I want to finish this.”
The power of everyday affirmation
When Bel Air returned to sports at the University of Tennessee, the two coaches played a transformative role in her recovery. First, Heather Van Norman gave her a chance despite the competitive gap and was able to train for a year before rejoining the team. Coach Sharon Couch performed strong daily practice afterwards.
“Every morning I want you to send me three assertions,” Couch instructed, and Bella asked to start every day with positive self-talk.
“It was something about being intentional when you first wake up and just start your day positively and have someone invested in you,” explained Bellair.
Find peace and purpose
The combination of mental health support and athletic guidance has enabled Bel Air to strengthen its college career more than ever before.
“I’m pr’d. I ran faster than I ever ran,” she said, referring to achieving her personal record. Although her childhood dream of becoming an Olympic track athlete did not come true, Bel Air found peace on her journey.
“I said, I gave you everything I had, and I grew from it, and that’s what it should be. If you grew from it, that’s a better life lesson than winning the 100-meter hurdle.”
Fraud syndrome and WWE success
This shift in perspective – assessing growth in achievement – has made Bel Air work well in her WWE career, but she admits she sometimes struggles with fraud syndrome.
“I wasn’t coming from this business,” she explained, explaining how she got out of place among lifelong wrestling fans who had dreamed of a WWE career since childhood.
“When I was in WrestleMania and the main event, should I be here? But no, I was working for this. I deserve this because I got it.”
Pivot and give up
At the pinnacle of WWE, Belair emphasizes the importance of understanding the difference between giving up and pivot.
“I think it’s important to know the difference between giving up and pivoting and constantly moving,” she advised.
“Whatever you find, sometimes when you’re trying so hard… and when it just feels, why is this so difficult? Is it so complicated? … because sometimes it’s time to pivot.
This wisdom extends to her approach to failure and vulnerability.
“Don’t be afraid to give it a try. Don’t be afraid to embarrass yourself. We make TV live every week, and that may be possible.
A journey of resilience
For athletes, performers, and those facing mental health challenges, Bel Air’s journey offers valuable insight into resilience, self-acceptance, and courage to seek help. Her story shows that mental health struggles are common even at the highest level of achievement. And to overcome them, you often need both personal resolve and the support of others who recognize when something is not right.
As Belair prepares for the next appearance of WrestleMania, she carries her father’s wisdom to her. It’s okay to be nervous. Don’t be scared.
